My Immortal
by meteora-ice24
Summary: Sanzo's POV. He renders his past to the rain, and also to his special someone... SG pairing! R&R!


Disclaimer: Hello peepz!!! It's been a long time!!! Here is my 3rd fic served hot off the grill!!!  
  
This is going to be my first yaoi fanfic (they did what had lil' bits of it but it's mainly comedy) but I'll just have to make this one serious yet heartwarming! ^o^  
  
Since there are those who reviewed my past fics wanted an S/G pairing, well I'll do my best to make more of it, k? Besides, I love this pairing too!  
  
The soulful song of Evanescence inspires this. And I do not own Saiyuki at all!!!  
  
Evanescence rocks!!! .  
  
~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@  
  
My Immortal  
  
By meteora-ice 24  
  
Thunder rumbled outside, and the familiar scents of rain and the strong winds blew through the window and into my nostrils.  
  
Ch. Here I am, cooped up in this dark, stifling room of this cheap inn, and it was already starting to rain.  
  
I hate rain. I hate this world.  
  
/flashback/  
  
I saw blood. Lots of it. Everywhere. On the walls, on the floor.  
  
But mostly to the one who was lying on the floor. His once golden robes were now bloody red. His eyes were closed, but he has the look of pain on his face.  
  
Extreme pain. A look that I would remember for eternity.  
  
I couldn't yell for help or even speak. My lips went numb for a reason, since I never even seen a dead body my whole life. And worse of all, it was him, the bloody, tangled mess on the floor from which I'm standing on.  
  
"Ma-master."  
  
I touched him, wanting to see him move, but what I saw was blood, sticking on my hands.  
  
I felt my face become wet. Tears. I didn't even know I was crying, for I rarely did.  
  
"Koryu!!! Koryu!!!"  
  
It was Shuei's voice, and other noises of the monks making their way towards the room. But these noises seem nothing to me. I went deaf to the sight before me.  
  
"Koryu! Please be steady!" Shuei was now shaking my shoulders, panic etching his features. "What happened?!"  
  
"I.." I croaked out. "I couldn't protect him."  
  
The only sounds heard now were the thunder and the rain, a steady rumble on the roof.  
  
/end of flashback/  
  
I remembered the death of Sanzo-sama, a memory that I tried to forget, but already seemed to remain inside my mind, torturing me in my dreams.  
  
Afterwards, I ran away from the temple with my gun, killing every demon I sense with my powers. Hell knows how I recovered from the fucked up psycho- delusional disorder that overtook me.  
  
My powers. Hmph, yeah right.  
  
After a few years, the Minus Wave swept all over Togenkyo, causing demons to go wild and all that crap. And the son of Gyumao, Kougaiji, and another mysterious person who started this mess organized it.  
  
Whoever the bitch is, I'll beat the shit out of him for making me go on a journey with the people I hate the most in this screwed world.  
  
Well.there is that someone that I don't really hate.  
  
I heard someone turned the radio on outside my room, breaking my train of thought, and then this song was playing on it. [1]  
  
It became familiar to me, since this is the latest music that the ero kappa's been listening to lately, causing him to have several bumps on his head because I think these songs were too noisy.  
  
But this one sounded so melancholic. I listened carefully to the lyrics...  
  
/ These wounds won't seem to heal,  
  
This pain is just too real,  
  
There's just too much that time could not erase./  
  
Yes, I remembered those old days.  
  
In fact, I felt like I've already wasted ten years of my life.  
  
Until I met him, and nothing was the same again.  
  
"Goku." I said, looking out the window.  
  
I remembered what had happened earlier. We came into this inn, and he was this usual, cheerful self, glomping foods and picking a fight with Gojyo. And then the next day, he was declared missing. And it has been 3 days now.  
  
That idiotic saru, leaving without saying anything.  
  
I remembered when I first met him. He was all locked in this rocky cave. He had long hair, rumpled clothes, and shackles on his wrists and ankles. His skin was tanned, but it seemed so impossible, since the sun never shines brightly in that desolated area.  
  
But what have really struck my attention were his golden eyes. Those eyes.  
  
And then he said the stupidest thing I have ever heard. He thought I was the sun, and the sun was coming to him.  
  
Ba-ka.  
  
I may be this pigheaded, corrupted monk you see on the outside, but I really am this loneliness and disregard, a handful of complaints, yet I can't help the fact that everyone can see my old scars. [2]  
  
But ever since I came to know him a little better, every move that he made, every smile or laugh that he showed, would cause a tightening feeling in my chest. He trusted me with his whole heart, a heart I wanted to claim as my own.  
  
After a few days of fantasies and a few sleepless nights, I woke up one morning and finally admitted to myself.  
  
I'm in love with him.  
  
I'm in love with his tanned skin that shone in the light.  
  
I'm in love with his innocence, making my heart melt at the sight of him.  
  
I'm in love with his lips, lips that I wanted to taste and kiss like there's no tomorrow. [3]  
  
I'm in love with his luminous eyes, always looking up to me with trust.  
  
I love everything about him, and nothing would ever change that.  
  
And what is more creepy is, I've felt like I've seen him before, maybe several years ago, but.I don't really know.  
  
And he's gone.  
  
.  
  
Fuck.  
  
Damn you, Goku.  
  
Look what you just have done to me.  
  
/ When you cried I wiped away all of your tears,  
  
When you scream I fight away all of your fears,  
  
I've held your hand through all of these years,  
  
And you still have all of me./  
  
If only I wasn't selfish and started looking for him like Gojyo and Hakkai did. It's been hours since they left.  
  
But I've become so numb. [4]  
  
Just like the numbness that I felt ten years ago.  
  
Instead of showing him my true feelings, I abused him, pushing him away, trying to make those golden eyes turn to somewhere - or someone else, no matter how much it hurts me.  
  
I've tried to avoid it, but the more I did, the worse it gets. [5]  
  
He is in my very soul, tormenting me. [6]  
  
And the thought of not being with him.I couldn't breathe. [7]  
  
/ I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone,  
  
But though you're still with me,  
  
I've been alone all along./  
  
Fuck again.  
  
I will not give in to this.  
  
If I know that he will die today, I should have told him what I felt.  
  
I looked up the ceiling.  
  
Goku.  
  
Where the hell are you?  
  
Thunder rumbled again, louder this time.  
  
I sat on my bed and buried my face in my hands. I couldn't hear his voice anywhere.  
  
Damn it.  
  
And then my head snapped up from the sudden knock on the door.  
  
"Go away," I muttered.  
  
The goddamned asshole still knocked, only it sounded more desperate this time.  
  
I turned on the lamp on my bedside table. I ought to knock him when I ---  
  
"Sanzo."  
  
What the hell?  
  
"Help me, please."  
  
That voice.  
  
Then the door blasted open, revealing the only one I cared so much in this world.  
  
Goku.  
  
His face was expressionless as he walked towards me. I was just sitting on my bed, unable to move.  
  
He moved in more closer. His steps were the only sound that I heard.  
  
Then I began seeing some shocking features. He had scratches on his face.  
  
His hands were shaking.  
  
His hair was all over the place.  
  
He was drenched form the rain.  
  
But the most shocking thing of all was the blood that stained all over his shirt.  
  
Images of my master's dead body and the bloody mess he made on the floor began entering my mind, and then I let the fear overtake me again.  
  
I couldn't breathe, and my head was already spinning.  
  
This can't be happening. This ---  
  
"Sanzo."  
  
My head suddenly snapped from the trance. I didn't even notice he was already in front of me.  
  
Silence.  
  
Endless silence.  
  
Then his cheeky grin formed on his face. He looks.happy.  
  
"I-I did it." he said.  
  
Then his eyes went from the back of his head and fainted. I caught him perfectly in my arms.  
  
He smelled of rain. Usually the smell of rain would already get me in a bad mood.  
  
But the hell I care.  
  
It doesn't matter to me anymore.  
  
All I cared about is that my Goku was now in my arms, sleeping soundly.  
  
A smile formed in my face.  
  
Some life.  
  
The sun shone through the window, and the light settled on the hardwood floor. It was already morning.  
  
Goku was still asleep on my bed, and I watched him, feeling my insides churn.  
  
Watching him sleep certainly made me look like an air headed high school girl with a crush.  
  
Then Hakkai knocked and went inside the room with a tray full of food.  
  
"Ohayou," he said with a smile. "I made breakfast."  
  
"Aaa." He put the tray on the bedside table. "I'm glad that none of the blood on his clothes was his."  
  
I looked at Hakkai. "It wasn't?"  
  
"Yes. When I cleaned him last night, he didn't have any major wounds except on the scratches on his face. But he's going to be fine as soon as he would get his strength back."  
  
I sighed. "Where the hell did you think he went?"  
  
"Well, when Gojyo and I were looking for him, I suddenly thought of places where he would certainly go."  
  
"Except on everyone's kitchens?" I joked, a smirk making a way on my face.  
  
Hakkai chuckled. "Of course, besides that. He went on Konran Tower."  
  
"How did you know?"  
  
"When we got there, the place was already in ruins."  
  
"Any dead bodies?"  
  
"Yes, there was one," Hakkai said, his grin growing impossibly wider by the minute. "Homura's."  
  
My eyes widened. Homura?! [8]  
  
"I know. It is shocking. And he came there because of what I've already suspected."  
  
"He killed him."  
  
"Exactly. Gojyo still must be gaping from where I left him." Hakkai said, almost laughing.  
  
I looked at Goku. "This little moron."  
  
"I guess that's one part of our mission accomplished." Hakkai said before leaving and closing the door behind him.  
  
However, I wasted no time. I settled myself on top of him, so that I was pinning him on the bed, and our faces were so close that our noses touched. I felt his breath shower my face.  
  
"Baka." I muttered, before I completely devoured his lips.  
  
I kissed him passionately but gently, and after of what seemed like forever he finally responded, opening his mouth in eager compassion. His arms circled around my neck.  
  
I pulled back gently, knowing that I woke him up, and I looked at him, his golden eyes shining.  
  
"Hey," I said, caressing his bruised face.  
  
He smiled. "Hi."  
  
/ *Owari* /  
  
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AUTHOR'S NOTES [1] Do they even have radios in their time? 0_0  
  
[2] If you know Linkin Park, you'll definitely know what song this is!  
  
[3] Yeah.no tomorrow. (hehe)  
  
[4] I've become so numb, I can't feel you there, I've become so tight, so much more aware... (Numb - Linkin Park) .lol.  
  
[5 - 7] hey, I just watched Star Wars Episode 2: Attack of the Clones. Great movie! ^O^  
  
[8] Goku killed Homura? That ought to be something!  
  
~Ok, I'm already crying here. I feel so touched.(sniff sniff)  
  
SERVES CHOCOLATE MILKSHAKES TO: On3, gallatica, Namassuki, Reiya, Inc, Eiri Izz, Ami the 13th, and IvyRa  
  
(slurp slurp) Yum!!!  
  
Pls. Review me, I'll accept any of your reviews!!!  
  
Love lots, meteora-ice24 XXX  
  
PS: tell me if Sanzo was OOC in this one ok? (- - ,) 


End file.
